6 Steps to Build Your Confidence as a Coach
My definition of confidence is that feeling of certainty or ease that comes from being comfortable with who you are, what you’re capable of, and where you’re going. And all of that is a choice. You get to choose to be the confident version of you now.
What I’m going to share with you in this article, is different lifestyle practices that you can do to step into your confident self now, so that you can show up as a powerful leader, coach, and creator in your soul-led business and in the world.
Because here’s what I know to be true; confidence isn’t just for the lucky few. It’s something that's cultivated. It’s a quality that lives within each and every one of us. And when we’re not feeling like our most confident selves, that’s okay, but do know that it’s within your ability to shift that energy, and show up from certainty now.
And it’s easier than you might think!
You don’t have to “fake it till you make it”.
You just have to be intentional about your lifestyle and practices.
Here are my favourite ways to tap into inner confidence when you’re not feelin’ so hot:
(Sidenote: these are lifestyle tips to feel more confident in general, these are NOT coach training tips to feel confident in sessions with clients - although as a result of doing these steps, you WILL feel more confident with clients because you'll have aligned with the confident identity within yourself):
1. PRACTICE YOUR CRAFT
If you’re not feeling confident as a coach just yet, the best thing you can do honesty… is practice. The more time you spend in session, the more you start to own the identity of being a coach and embodying it.
Most good coaching certification programs will require you to do a practicum with peers and non-peers in order to graduate. This is your time to practice, practice, practice… AND connect with peers so that you can keep practicing with afterward!
I spent two years in training, and by the end of my certification program I had clocked 75 hours of practicum sessions to graduate, PLUS I met up weekly with a therapist peer to trade hour-long coaching sessions with each other. Which was probably close to another 100+ hrs over 2 years.
Let me let ya - by the end of that many free sessions, I felt confident AF about getting on calls with 1:1 clients.
And if you’ve practiced a TON and you’re still not feeling confident? Well then love, it’s time to drop the story that you’re not good enough and start OWNING that you’re a rockstar. I want you to write out a list of all your accomplishments and experience that makes you incredible at what you do.
This is basically like a resume but just for YOU! Read that resume again and again whenever you forget where you’ve come from and how far you’ve come!
2. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM OF PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU (SISTERHOOD IS PARTICULARLY AWESOME FOR THIS!)
When you’re creating your dreams, giving your gifts, and going against the status quo of what we’ve been told we “should” do with our lives, it can feel so scary and like we’re just making it up as we go (because truthfully we are, welcome to entrepreneurship!).
But when you have a badass crew of other Badass Boss Goddesses who get you - well then boo, you feel a lot less alone and crazy sometimes.
Joining masterminds, connecting with friends who are on an entrepreneurial path, or having other coach peers you can grow and heal with, can feel so so sooooooo validating for the lifestyle you’ve chosen. So prioritize the friends in your life who are also pursuing their dreams! That way, when thoughts of self-doubt or fear inevitably creep up, you’ve got your inner circle there to remind you of who you are, and how much value you have to offer.
And if you need to set some boundaries with certain people in your life because they just can’t understand your vision or don’t care too (or worse - try to “crab in the bucket” you🦀), then set those boundaries, babe. You’re the leader of your life and deserve to be surrounded by people who see the best in you. There’s no shame in creating distance from people who don’t feel safe for you, and have no desire in supporting you. You can still love them, but from a little further away now.
3. PRACTICE SELF-CARE AND HONOURING YOUR WORD TO YOURSELF
I don’t know about you, but my confidence SKYROCKETS when I’m taking care of myself. Because here’s the thing… deep down in our subconscious, we know it's important AF to do things that are nourishing for us. AND we know no one can do these things for us.
It's things like eating the right foods for your body, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, meditating, playing, resting, connecting.
We thrive when we take care of ourselves, and we are more trustworthy as leaders if we can lead ourselves. When you lead yourself and take care of your own needs first, you feel like such a badass. You feel capable. You feel worthy.
And with a nice full cup of that yummy good self-care love, you can sprinkle and share your magic from overflow without feeling so drained and burnt out.
It also helps you feel integrity. And what does that even mean? To me it means doing the things you say you're going to do, and "walking your talk". And when you have self-integrity (especially when no ones even watching you), then you FEEL confident AF because you know you're a leader of your life, and can master your own mind.
Sure - you have permission to change your mind anytime something no longer feels in alignment, but there's a certain magic that happens when you make a commitment and stick with it for awhile.
For example, say you want to meditate more...
Start with 7 days straight. Feel the badass boost, then I dare you to keep it going and do another 21 days because it feels so good for you. I'm not always about rules and challenges, but I do have to say there's a certain instant confidence boost that comes from completing an accomplishment like that and acknowledging yourself for it.
4. SET BOUNDARIES WITH CLIENTS
Know what you’re available for and what you’re not available for, and communicate that clearly with your clients so they know what to expect from you.
I'll give you an example:
At the time of writing the post, I have unlimited voice and text access to me between coaching sessions, but I let my clients know what they can expect from me. They can expect to hear back from me usually the same day, if not the next day. However, if I'm in my luteal phase of the first few days of my bleed, then I'll let them know it may take me a few days longer than usual.
This allows me to take care of myself so I have more to give, and not feel pressured to be perfect or accessible 24/7. And with that boundary set, I feel more energized to give.
Another example is that I don’t like taking calls before 11 am or after 6 pm.
It just doesn't do it for me energetically. Mornings are sacred self-care time so that I can get into alignment for the day. And then my brain turns to mush in the evenings and it's chill, play, or connection time with my partner or friends. So I create my schedule to align with what feels best for me so that I can show up a coach from my most creative and energized self.
Don't feel like you have to be “on” all the time for people. It’s important to have boundaries as a coach. And the sooner you know what feels good for you, the sooner you can communicate with your clients and feel more confident about the container.
Plus it feels really empowering to set those boundaries, AND it's what your clients actually need to see modeled from you to feel confident asking for their needs and boundaries to be met too.
5. FIND A COACH OR MENTOR TO HELP GUIDE YOU ALONG THE WAY
Now I'm not one of those coaches that thinks in order to be a coach, that you have to have a coach all the time. No. That's ridiculous. The only things you have to do are the things that feel aligned.
Some people love group programs. Some people love courses. Some people love 1:1 support. Some people love DIY. Heck, some people just love soaking up the free content that's out there!
Point is, we all get stuck. We all get in our own way sometimes. We all have a hard time seeing our blind spots when we're too close to our business or life. So I love having a coach or mentor in my life that inspires me and resonates with where I'm at in my journey. This is usually in some sort of group program because that's how I like learning.
Having one or two mentors that I go deep with at a time, helps serve as a reminder of what's possible and where I'm heading. Plus it anchors me into any teachings that I'm particularly resonating with at that time on my journey.
And, having a coach or mentor to help me work through my blocks gives me inspired ideas to share with my clients and audience. I can feel extra confident in the practices or tools I offer because I KNOW they work to get people get unstuck - because it's what helped me!
Then content creation becomes super easy and simple. Get support or guidance when you need it, and then share what’s helping YOU along your journey (so often our ideal clients are just past versions of us anyways).
When you've taken the time to work through your own blocks and embodied that lesson, then feeling confident in sharing your message becomes so much easier (and more impactful).
6. PRACTICE SELF-LOVE AS YOU GROW
Lastly, be kind to yourself and let perfectionism go. I know, I know... it's easier said than done sometimes, but really... self-love is the miracle cure. I can't prescribe it enough.
Nothing makes you feel more confident as a coach than being 111% okay with having flaws and being a work in progress. Know you're not perfect. Know you'll never be perfect. And I guarantee you'll feel a whole lot more freedom.
You can be BOTH human AND divine.
BOTH a masterpiece AND a work in progress.
BOTH a teacher AND a student.
Loving our shadows and the parts that we think are unworthy, is when we truly call back our power, and feel more secure and confident in the full spectrum of our totality.
Then when you show up to serve your clients, you can meet them from your wholeness, and give them as much love and compassion that you meet yourself with. Which is actually the key to facilitating even deeper lasting transformation.
(Plus... just a friendly reminder, it's not about you and your insecurities or worth... your business exists to serve your soulmate clients)
So meet that shadow with unconditional love, baby!
And own that you’re human just like the rest of us.
(Unless you're an alien... if so, welcome to planet Earth! I have so many questions for you. Please email me!👽).
CONSCIOUS WRAP + INTEGRATING ALL OF THIS
It's easy to stumble upon a blog post like this and be like, "Hmm I liked that, that's nice", then never do anything with it.
But if you clicked on this article, chances are you're NOT feelin' so confident right now.
So let's find a way for you to do something about that right now.
I invite you to take action. Pull out your journal.
And do a little self-discovery work to see what comes up for you.
Here's some juicy journal prompts to help you with just that:
- Do you feel like you need more practice at your craft? What would it look like for you to get that now?
- Do you feel like you’re super experienced but still swimming in self-doubt? What accomplishments can you put on your resume for yourself?
- Who in your life feels like they celebrate you for all of who you are? What would it look like to lean into those relationships and appreciate and grow with them more?
- Who do you sense you may need to let go of or create some space from?
- What self-care practices make you feel really really good and vibrate higher? What’s something you can commit to doing daily for a week to boost your self-integrity?
- What boundaries with your clients would feel so good for you? How can you create containers that feel nourishing and enlivening for YOU, so that you can show up and meet their needs and desires more powerfully too?
- Where do you feel stuck right now in your business or life? And is there a coach or mentor who’s living the lifestyle you desire that feels really good to learn from right now? How can you be in their energy more?
- Is there any part of you that you’re scared people will find out about you and judge? What would it look like for you to choose to love that part of you now?
I hope these 6 steps inspired you to feel more confident as a coach and leader in your life and spiritual business.
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Amy "You are Whole" Meraki